Without a doubt I would have to say that in my 49 years, 2013 has been the most trying and challenging year I have faced. I have encountered obstacles which I never could have imagined, and found strength where I did not know it existed. I have seen things through a different set of eyes, and comprehended situations in a different mindset. I have found a new peace, and understanding through the quagmire of untruths and have embraced my weakness’ to compliment my strengths.
As I sit and contemplate my new awareness, I am sometimes overwhelmed by the possibilities which lay before me. Accepting that there are forces at work that are beyond my control, and understanding how to manage the way in which I interact with these situations has been my biggest challenge. Understanding that not everything that is broken can or should be fixed, and not all problems have a favorable outcome. That sometimes we just have to accept things for what they are and move on.
The last 4 weeks have been spent doing some very deep spiritual exploration and examination of who I am, how I have gotten here and where it is I want to go from here. The events and circumstances that have brought me here have been convoluted to say the least, but as I do believe everything happens for a reason I am sure in the grand scheme of things it will all make sense. My journey has been a long, and the road ahead does not appear to be a smooth one, but what would life be without those occasional bumps in the road or miscalculated wrong turns.
I move forward with anticipation of what is around the next turn, and relish in the mystery of what will be. I welcome the challenges, the victories and the failures for these together are what make a person who it is they become. Not so much as to whether one succeeds or fails, but how they handle the situation and accept the outcome. I will not let the events of this last year become who I am, or who I become. I will not respond to hatred with hatred and become my own enemy. I will be stronger than those who seek to fulfill their emptiness with anger and contempt, and I will overcome the obstacles that have been laid before me.
As I move forward, I will take with me the lessons I have learned over the past 11 and a half months and I will use them to guide me to a better place within myself. I will take the pain and I will use it to strengthen my resolve, and I will not let hatred and evil inundate my life. Destination unclear, and path yet uncertain I follow the unseen signs, seeing everything through a new set of eyes.